Hey all! In typical AK fashion, I have gone hermit mode…again. I’m back though and feeling amazing! The past 2 months of my ascension journey have been intense, some days brutal, but I am grateful for it all. November has always been one of my favorite months, Thanksgiving my favorite holiday. A few years ago, my cousin and I posted for the entire month, things we were grateful for. I want to bring that back, so I’m going to start a 30 day/November gratitude challenge with y’all and our FB/IG/YouTube followers. Everyday I’ll post and hope you will comment and share the amazing gifts in your life.
The fall of 2016 was the darkest point in my life. Dark Night of the Soul is experienced during awakening, where all the shit comes crashing down. This can be triggered in many ways…trauma, near-death experiences, etc…for me, it was the separation from my Twin Flame. The pain of losing my person, the heart of my heart, soul of my soul was like the sun disappearing, there was nothing but darkness. Needless to say, I was not feeling grateful for much 2 years ago.
January of 2017 was the year of my awakening. I came out of the dark and began the work of finding the light. That spring I was guided to information on the power of gratitude and I began practicing giving thanks daily. Not that I hadn’t in the past, I was raised saying grace before dinner and to always say thank you, but looking back, it was inauthentic, programmed and done out of duty more than genuinely feeling grateful. It felt silly at first, to wake up and say thank you for this new day, to eat slowly, savoring every bite as I said thank you for the food, to give thanks for a hot shower, comfortable bed, roof over my head, the sound of birds chirping, the rain (doesn’t happen much in the desert). I literally spent as many moments as I could just being grateful…for every fucking thing…the sun, music, clean water, my children (even when they were driving me bat-shit crazy), clothes, money for gas, my car that got me to work, my career as a teacher (even though I was beginning to see it was not for me anymore)…you get the idea. Around April, I was beginning to really feel happy, from the inside…I can honestly say it was fucking strange to feel happy, genuinely happy, but there was still work to do. I was still holding anger, resentment, guilt, shame for so much shit in my life and the people who inflicted their pain onto me. Like most of us, I was grateful for the blessings, but still holding low vibrations towards the people, and experiences, that hurt me. One major shift that happened though, is the more I practiced gratitude, the more present I became, the more the things I was grateful for happened…as within, so without…my focus shifted from lack perspective to an abundance mindset.
June of 2017 had me beginning a daily meditation and yoga practice, my awakening in full swing. I cannot tell you enough how absolutely transforming both are to mind, body and spirit. Neither are easy at first, like all things they take practice and commitment…over a year of yoga 5-6 days a week and it’s still not easy, but I am grateful for the challenge. I had also left the public school system I had taught in for 15 years and took a teaching position at a charter school, believing it was a better system for my very out of the box approach to teaching. I was so fucking wrong, so wrong…it was worse, more confining, more robot like, more conformist…all things that insult me at a soul level and I knew it was time to leave the education system. At this point in my Twin Flame journey, we were back to talking everyday, our partnership seemed to be heading in a positive direction, towards union, so I thought….man, I’ve thought a lot of things and awakening has shown me how absolutely fucking backwards we all are. I left teaching fucking angry…I was at peace with my decision, knowing that it wasn’t my place anymore, but fuck was I pissed at a system that I gave my heart and soul to that gave me nothing back. At this point, the Law of Giving and Receiving had become very clear and the awakening to the fact that our government systems were fucked up and don’t give a shit about me, or you, any of us really pissed me the fuck off. I left feeling an enormous amount of love and gratitude towards my students, but that was it. Today, I am so grateful for my teaching career, all of it…even the shitty ass education system that has taught me what we need to fix in this country, in all of our fucked up systems. I am grateful for the shitty pay, gave me another great lesson on giving and receiving…also, on how fucking deserving and worthy I am.
2018 has been my year of ascension, of doing the deepest soul work to transcend the 3D reality, to align with my higher self and evolve. The most work has been related to the lower chakras….releasing fear, guilt, shame, insecurities, etc…going deep to the root of those feelings, childhood & past life regressions to upgrade my DNA, to heal ancestral wounds that had been carried through generations, to heal all the shit all feminines carry, to move into full Unity & Christ consciousness. It has been brutal fucking work, but the blessings and blessons that have come from still blow my mind some days. The amount of self-compassion, forgiveness and love I have had to give myself , and in turn been able to give to others, has not been easy. I have had to move multiple times, had my car repo’d and lost many (so-called) friends. I have struggled to get my business up and running, failed at this blog and my YouTube channel, due to my own insecurities/fears…there have been massive lessons to learn from, but I am grateful for EVERY FUCKING THING, sounds crazy I know…homeless, jobless, broke, what the fuck should I be grateful for?
I have been humbled by the universe and it has given me the lessons needed to be the badass Empath I was born to be. It’s easy to be grateful for the blessings, the good shit that happens in life, but it is the blessons (blessings in the lessons) that are the greatest gifts.
I am grateful for the narcissists (my mother and Ex #2) in my life, they have taught me that there are others who carry far more pain than I. Can you imagine how badly someone must feel to inflict that pain onto others with no remorse? They have taught me how incredibly strong I am, to be able to withstand the pain inflicted and still have the capacity to love, to empathize, to find the light in the darkness. They have taught me, along with other shitty humans, how not to be, who not to be, to always rise above, to be better and do better. I am truly blessed to see my mother grow, through my ability to set boundaries and my insane self-respect. Ex #2 gave me my son and my Twin, I am grateful for his role to bring blessings into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I do not wish these people the best, I wish them to get what they deserve…not my problem, I’m letting the Universe and Karma do it’s thing.
I am grateful for my Twin and this crazy ass Twin Flame journey. He has been my mirror, my catalyst, to awakening, healing, soul liberation…to me…the authentic me and I know we are never separated. Every time he has run, hurt me has only been a reflection of him, his pain, fears and insecurities and strangely, it just makes me send more love, more light to him. There is no separation in this amazing universe…time, space, distance can never separate Twins, nor any of us for that matter.
I am grateful for losing possessions, they’re just things, stuff we carry around and cling to thinking it gives us safety, security, happiness…such a crock of programmed bullshit. There is NOT ONE FUCKING THING outside of you that will bring you the joy, peace, love we are all seeking. Guess what, I’m still here and I now am able to use my Empath superpowers in even more ways because I truly get the shit we all go through. It also showed me, who is important in my life. The people I should invest my energy into.
I am grateful for the family and friends that have bailed, they’ve only made space for better. The people who stick by you when the shit goes down, they’re the only ones you need…and I don’t give one flying fuck if it’s your parent, child, significant other, best friend…if they aren’t there when you need them the most let them fucking go…I promise, as scary as it is, it is for the best…for you to find your tribe, soul family…the people who see you, accept you and love you unconditionally. If the giving and receiving isn’t equal, bail the fuck out, you deserve better. Quality over quantity, loves, my dad taught me that.
So, let’s spread some love, light and gratitude this month. Let’s see ourselves in each other and be grateful for every breath we’re given. Each moment is a gift, a chance to be better and do better, for ourselves and each other. Follow us and our moth of gratitude not only here, but at akmitch1975 on Instagram, or I’m blackbirdoracle on IG/IGTV/YouTube (I do daily guidance readings on IGTV, if you feel guided to check it out). We will also post on our FB page…Oh My Goddess and are intending to get a video up soon on our YouTube channel…OhmMyGoddess. We are so fucking grateful for all the support…our followers here and the likes, subscribes, etc. on our social media.
Sending you all shit tons of love & light & gratitude
P.S. Like everything…the gratitude shift had to begin with me and I am so fucking grateful for me and the people, places and experiences that have contributed to where I am today.