The Path to Happiness Isn’t Where I Expected It To Be -Mitch

 

Oh, hey there. It’s been a while. I’ve been out of sorts. I had a couple more medication changes that fucked me up quite a bit in the past several months, and I kind of hit a wall in my career, personal development, and my relationship, and I certainly didn’t give myself time to grieve the loss of my dog properly. I was exhausted, depressed, and totally unmotivated. I gave zero shits for way too long, and now I’m trying to find my path back to the person I want to be; the best version of myself. I’ve found, though, that I spent way too much time and energy trying to make myself want things that were no longer what was best for me. I was trying so hard to convince myself that my goals should be the same as they were in the past that I didn’t take time to evaluate if those were still things I wanted. I went down a rabbit hole only to finally realize that if I’d achieved those goals, I wouldn’t be happy anyway. I needed to acknowledge that goals change as we do, because it’s tough to let go of things, and that’s totally OK.

It’s hard for me to blog here when I’m not feeling myself, honestly. Our mission is to help women live their best lives, and I was certainly not living mine. Nowhere close. I guess I was practicing self care, if self care looks like eating cookie dough out of a tub. (I mean, I think it CAN look like that, once in a great while, but let’s be honest. Doing it fairly regularly isn’t self care. It’s self harm.) Who the hell was I to help guide anyone else? I was a hot mess. What I guess I really lost sight of, though, is that I’m a woman, and if we’re trying to help women live their best lives, why was I uncomfortable starting with myself? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same things I am, or who could learn from my journey.

Part of it is that it’s really hard to be totally raw and honest online. The Pinterest/Instagram/Blogosphere corner of the internet is full of people with photoshopped and glossed over lives. I don’t blame anyone for wanting to put their best foot forward, especially in a cruel world full of strangers who sometimes want to make themselves feel better by taking other people down. I find that women, especially, fall into this pattern of behavior. When you’re miserable and things aren’t going your way, it’s a hell of a lot easier to lash out and judge other people than to turn the mirror on ourselves. I know I’ve been guilty of that toxic practice. The nickname Mitch the Bitch didn’t come from thin air. I wear the label “Bitch” proudly when I use my skills to stand up for myself and for people and ideals I love. I’m not so proud if I use it to personally attack people. It doesn’t make me better, it doesn’t make them better, and it doesn’t make the world a better place.

It’s equally as bad when I use my elevated skills of verbal decimation on myself, whether I say it out loud, or I say it inside my head. I’m always up for a good self deprecating joke, honestly, and that will probably never change, but I need to be a lot kinder to myself when I stumble. I need to be a lot more honest with myself, as well. A character trait I’m not terribly fond of is my all or nothing, zero to sixty in ten seconds personality. It’s great to ramp myself up and throw myself into something I care about or to reach towards a goal, but it’s a train wreck when I don’t allow myself room for moderation or failure.

Be real; who else does this? We say, “I stayed on my diet for three days then I ate some fries, so I’ll start again Monday,” or, “I really wanted to start blogging again, and I wrote a couple I’m pretty happy with, but then I ran out of time and motivation and now I look stupid because who the hell wants to follow me?”

The answer to failure shouldn’t be, “Fuck it!” if it’s something you really want. If it’s something that you think will make you really happy, start again today. Commit again right now, and if you stumble, start again right away. Don’t give up, but forgive yourself if you don’t succeed and follow the path that you thought would lead you to your goal. My goal is pretty simple. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be the best version of myself and I want to help other women do the same. For me, that’s going to require nothing but pure honesty, self love and acceptance, and accountability. I’m going to be honest with myself and right here on this blog. I’m going to love myself to identify self destructive behavior, take some time to analyze why I did it, and find a better way to reach my goals when I start again. I’ve found that what we sometimes think will make us happy isn’t really what we originally think it is. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the minutia of what we are trying to do that we don’t take time along the way to reevaluate and make sure that the place we’re going is still the destination we want to reach.

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I can’t say “here I go again” without a Whitesnake reference. My hair band loving heart won’t let me do it.

So here I go again, but not on my own. I have AK and my family, and other amazing, strong friends and mentors to love me and guide me, and maybe I have you. You have me if you need me. Reach out. I don’t care who you are, or where you are in your process. You don’t have to be spiritually awakened, because I know I’m not there yet. You don’t have to know exactly what you want or how the hell to get there, but if you’re reaching for something and you’re not content, hit me up. I’m actually a lot better at advice for other people than I am for myself. Even if I can’t help, I will almost always say something ridiculous and make you laugh and see things from a different perspective.

When we started this blog, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do here, of what my role should be, and really, what I thought I wanted and what I thought would make me happy. Some of that is still right, and some of that has changed, but I promise, it’s OK to figure it out as you go along. Don’t stay committed to things that don’t serve you. Seriously, knock it off. If you made a goal to run a marathon but you keep injuring yourself, that might not be the right goal for you. There are other ways to get fit and strong. I’m not saying to divorce your husband or quit your job right now, especially if you love them and see a way forward and a future with them that could be fulfilling. I am saying that the way forward might look different than you thought it would, and you need to be open to that.

I have a lot more to say. I want to talk about spirituality and the divine feminine, and  I started this blog to talk about gratitude. I’m going to write about both soon, but this is what came out right now and I’m not second guessing it. This needed to come out for a reason, so here it is. You’ll see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the utterly ridiculous here, so strap in for the ride.

Love, light, forgiveness, and an appropriate amount of cookie dough,

-Selfish Mitch

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The Divine Feminine is Awakening

The great awakening has begun and is only going to continue through the next few years…all will be affected.  Many are like me, First Wave lightworkers (Twin Flames, Empaths, Starseeds, etc.), who are here to assist in the raising the vibration of the planet.  We have gone first and have gone through a lot, I mean a fucking lot of shit, in order to clear the way for the rest of humanity to awaken and ascend.  The 3D density of Gaia, or Earth, is falling.  In it’s place a 4D density, a lighter world, built from the heart space…where Unity and Christ Consciousness prevail and it is being led by humans who resonate as feminine energy…gender plays no role here, it is just the vehicle…it is the soul I speak of when I say feminine/masculine.  The Divine Feminine is rising, awakening to her truth and seeking equality and justice.  Not just for them, but for all of humanity.  We understand that the masculine’s are just as programmed, of not more so, and just as hurt.  We know healing both the masculine and feminine, balancing the energies will heal our children, will create a New Earth for all.

Divine feminines are feeling the call to something better, something different, something magical.  Our intuition is off the mother fucking charts, yet we battle with it…change is not easy and we have not been programmed to be independent in every way, to trust ourselves no matter what others think.  We are needed though and the Universe is assisting us in awakening/ascension, even if it means making us uncomfortable. The Divine knows we are  bad asses and can handle it, learn from it.   We are seeing our truths, breaking free from the labels, expectations, judgments and just general fuckery patriarchal programming has caused.

We are walking away from jobs, careers, relationships…anything that no longer serves us, where giving and receiving are not equal.  We are fucking pissed at patriarchal programming that has us objectified sexually, demeans our intuitive gifts, teaches nurturing, compassion, grace and gentleness are submissive qualities, that emotions are “weak” and let’s be honest, just the general enslavement and dis-empowerment that has gone on for thousands of years, fucking thousands…it’s time, y’all.  The Universe is calling for balance, justice and equality for ALL, no race, no gender, no sexuality biases and Divine Feminines MUST lead the way…WE are leading the way.  I see my sisters awakening everyday, I see many in ascension beginning to step into their missions and share their stories, uniting us.   It’s so damn exciting, challenging fo’ sho, but so fucking exhilarating to know what’s coming and be a part of a change we never believed we would see.

So where does this start…by loving your damn self.  As within, so without.  If you want to be treated with respect, then respect yourself…say no, set boundaries and walk the fuck away from anyone/thing that doesn’t.  If you want abundance, than think and believe you are abundant, release the guilt, shame and resentment that makes you feel unworthy…practice self care, treat yourself as if you are abundant.  If you want love, then be love, forgive and show compassion to those that hurt you…be the perfect partner to/for yourself…take yourself out to eat, to a movie, whatever it is that makes you happy, do it with yourself.  The universe will bring your perfect partner when you’re ready.  My point, focus on you…your happiness, joy, passions, the life you want to create…the rest will work itself out.

Feminines are guided to me daily for advice on all things spiritual, as well as, healing sessions.  I am so happy to help in anyway I can, as I know first hand how amazing, magical and miraculous life can be after awakening.  Yes, the soul work of ascension is hard, but the magic and miracles become more and more frequent…a great motivator to continue doing your healing work.

Divine feminines are awakening.  Awakening to our power, intuitive gifts, strength, grace and dignity.  Releasing shame, guilt, resentment, anger and taking our motherfucking power back.  We are like the phoenix, rising from the ashes of patriarchal programming, to lead the way to balance, justice and equality.  We lead by example and it all starts with love…self-love.

Shit tons of love & light

AK

Divine Feminine Rising

P.S.

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Blessing and Blessons…the practice of Gratitude ~AK

Hey all! In typical AK fashion, I have gone hermit mode…again.  I’m back though and feeling amazing!  The past 2 months of my ascension journey have been intense, some days brutal, but I am grateful for it all.  November has always been one of my favorite months, Thanksgiving my favorite holiday.  A few years ago, my cousin and I posted for the entire month, things we were grateful for.   I want to bring that back, so I’m going to start a 30 day/November gratitude challenge with y’all and our FB/IG/YouTube followers.  Everyday I’ll post and hope you will comment and share the amazing gifts in your life.

The fall of 2016 was the darkest point in my life.  Dark Night of the Soul is experienced during awakening, where all the shit comes crashing down.  This can be triggered in many ways…trauma, near-death experiences, etc…for me, it was the separation from my Twin Flame. The pain of losing my person, the heart of my heart, soul of my soul was like the sun disappearing, there was nothing but darkness.   Needless to say, I was not feeling grateful for much 2 years ago.

January of 2017 was the year of my awakening.  I came out of the dark and began the work of finding the light.  That spring I was guided to information on the power of gratitude and I began practicing giving thanks daily.  Not that I hadn’t in the past, I was raised saying grace before dinner and to always say thank you, but looking back, it was inauthentic, programmed and done out of duty more than genuinely feeling grateful.  It felt silly at first, to wake up and say thank you for this new day, to eat slowly, savoring every bite as I said thank you for the food, to give thanks for a hot shower, comfortable bed, roof over my head, the sound of birds chirping, the rain (doesn’t happen much in the desert).  I literally spent as many moments as I could just being grateful…for every fucking thing…the sun, music, clean water, my children (even when they were driving me bat-shit crazy), clothes, money for gas, my car that got me to work, my career as a teacher (even though I was beginning to see it was not for me anymore)…you get the idea.  Around April, I was beginning to really feel happy, from the inside…I can honestly say it was fucking strange to feel happy, genuinely happy, but there was still work to do.  I was still holding anger, resentment, guilt, shame for so much shit in my life and the people who inflicted their pain onto me.  Like most of us, I was grateful for the blessings, but still holding low vibrations towards the people, and experiences, that hurt me.  One major shift that happened though, is the more I practiced gratitude, the more present I became, the more the things I was grateful for happened…as within, so without…my focus shifted from lack perspective to an abundance mindset.

June of 2017 had me beginning a daily meditation and yoga practice, my awakening in full swing.  I cannot tell you enough how absolutely transforming both are to mind, body and spirit.  Neither are easy at first, like all things they take practice and commitment…over a year of yoga 5-6 days a week and it’s still not easy, but I am grateful for the challenge.  I had also left the public school system I had taught in for 15 years and took a teaching position at a charter school, believing it was a better system for my very out of the box approach to teaching.  I was so fucking wrong, so wrong…it was worse, more confining, more robot like, more conformist…all things that insult me at a soul level and I knew it was time to leave the education system.  At this point in my Twin Flame journey, we were back to talking everyday, our partnership seemed to be heading in a positive direction, towards union, so I thought….man, I’ve thought a lot of things and awakening has shown me how absolutely fucking backwards we all are.  I left teaching fucking angry…I was at peace with my decision, knowing that it wasn’t my place anymore, but fuck was I pissed at a system that I gave my heart and soul to that gave me nothing back.  At this point, the Law of Giving and Receiving had become very clear and the awakening to the fact that our government systems were fucked up and don’t give a shit about me, or you, any of us really pissed me the fuck off.  I left feeling an enormous amount of love and gratitude towards my students, but that was it.  Today, I am so grateful for my teaching career, all of it…even the shitty ass education system that has taught me what we need to fix in this country, in all of our fucked up systems.  I am grateful for the shitty pay, gave me another great lesson on giving and receiving…also, on how fucking deserving and worthy I am.

2018 has been my year of ascension, of doing the deepest soul work to transcend the 3D reality, to align with my higher self and evolve.  The most work has been related to the lower chakras….releasing fear, guilt, shame, insecurities, etc…going deep to the root of those feelings, childhood & past life regressions to upgrade my DNA, to heal ancestral wounds that had been carried through generations, to heal all the shit all feminines carry, to move into full Unity & Christ consciousness.  It has been brutal fucking work, but the blessings and blessons that have come from still blow my mind some days.  The amount of self-compassion, forgiveness and love I have had to give myself , and in turn been able to give to others, has not been easy.  I have had to move multiple times, had my car repo’d and lost many (so-called) friends. I have struggled to get my business up and running, failed at this blog and my YouTube channel, due to my own insecurities/fears…there have been massive lessons to learn from, but I am grateful for EVERY FUCKING THING, sounds crazy I know…homeless, jobless, broke, what the fuck should I be grateful for?

I have been humbled by the universe and it has given me the lessons needed to be the badass Empath I was born to be.  It’s easy to be grateful for the blessings, the good shit that happens in life, but it is the blessons (blessings in the lessons) that are the greatest gifts.

I am grateful for the narcissists (my mother and Ex #2) in my life, they have taught me that there are others who carry far more pain than I.  Can you imagine how badly someone must feel to inflict that pain onto others with no remorse?   They have taught me how incredibly strong I am, to be able to withstand the pain inflicted and still have the capacity to love, to empathize, to find the light in the darkness.  They have taught me, along with other shitty humans, how not to be, who not to be, to always rise above, to be better and do better.  I am truly blessed to see my mother grow, through my ability to set boundaries and my insane self-respect.  Ex #2 gave me my son and my Twin, I am grateful for his role to bring blessings into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I do not wish these people the best, I wish them to get what they deserve…not my problem, I’m letting the Universe and Karma do it’s thing.

I am grateful for my Twin and this crazy ass Twin Flame journey.  He has been my mirror, my catalyst, to awakening, healing, soul liberation…to me…the authentic me and I know we are never separated. Every time he has run, hurt me has only been a reflection of him, his pain, fears and insecurities and strangely, it just makes me send more love, more light to him.  There is no separation in this amazing universe…time, space, distance can never separate Twins, nor any of us for that matter.

I am grateful for losing possessions, they’re just things, stuff we carry around and cling to thinking it gives us safety, security, happiness…such a crock of programmed bullshit.  There is NOT ONE FUCKING THING outside of you that will bring you the joy, peace, love we are all seeking.  Guess what, I’m still here and I now am able to use my Empath superpowers in even more ways because I truly get the shit we all go through.  It also showed me, who is important in my life.  The people I should invest my energy into.

I am grateful for the family and friends that have bailed, they’ve only made space for better.  The people who stick by you when the shit goes down, they’re the only ones you need…and I don’t give one flying fuck if it’s your parent, child, significant other, best friend…if they aren’t there when you need them the most let them fucking go…I promise, as scary as it is, it is for the best…for you to find your tribe, soul family…the people who see you, accept you and love you unconditionally.  If the giving and receiving isn’t equal, bail the fuck out, you deserve better.  Quality over quantity, loves, my dad taught me that.

So, let’s spread some love, light and gratitude this month.  Let’s see ourselves in each other and be grateful for every breath we’re given.  Each moment is a gift, a chance to be better and do better, for ourselves and each other.  Follow us and our moth of gratitude not only here, but at akmitch1975 on Instagram, or I’m blackbirdoracle on IG/IGTV/YouTube (I do daily guidance readings on IGTV, if you feel guided to check it out).  We will also post on our FB page…Oh My Goddess and are intending to get a video up soon on our YouTube channel…OhmMyGoddess.  We are so fucking grateful for all the support…our followers here and the likes, subscribes, etc. on our social media.

Sending you all shit tons of love & light & gratitude

AK

Grateful Goddess

P.S.  Like everything…the gratitude shift had to begin with me and I am so fucking grateful for me and the people, places and experiences that have contributed to where I am today.

God is NOT a Woman, God is NOT a Man, for Fuck’s Sake…God is NOT HUMAN~AK

Being raised in the Catholic Church, I know this could cause quite a lot of fear for some.  Being a multi-dimensional being, an oracle for information and messages from the Divine, I don’t give a flying fuck.  The organized religion bullshit needs to be exposed and people deserve to hear the truth.  A lot of what I channel is in relation to the Bible, but I am not going to share those specific messages today.  Even as a child I had a problem with the distorted masculine God of the Catholic Church.  As I got older,  I noticed that all religions’ gods were masculine, but by then I had totally renounced religion.  As a teen & young adult, Native American and Eastern practices (not religions) resonated with me.  I was telling my neighbor the other night, that I remember being profoundly spiritual, just not religious, from a very young age.  Funny thing about a Spiritual Awakening…it’s more of a remembering.  The awakening part, from my perspective, is an awakening to universal truths, truths like the one I am about to share.  The remembering is all about remembering your truth, remembering who you are at a soul level.  So, back to God.  I have to admit this topic makes me a bit uncomfortable, but these days I”m all about doing something new, stepping out of my comfort zone to speak the truth and my truth, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

We are energy, that’s what we are.  We come from energy, the label you give it is up to you…God, Source, the Universe, the Divine…whichever resonates with you.  Our human bodies are just vehicles and we get to choose (kind of) who drives that vehicle…ego or soul?  If ego is the driver, and for most it is, the programming has this driver operating from fear and insecurities.  This driver is attached in every way to the external world, believing everything is happening to her, that everything is outside of her.  She is in the belief that God is something bigger than her and she is at his mercy.  She believes that Heaven and Hell are destinations, so death is feared, every fucking action is feared because sinning happens every day and Hell is feared.  She believes God, and Jesus, will save her and all she has to do is pray for forgiveness, on her damn knees, every damn night and all is forgiven.  I have been this driver, I have given my power away to the external, believing everything was happening to me. You all know that question…why is the happening TO me?  Wrong question.

Everything is energy and our souls are piece of the Source, therefore we are Source, we are God, the Divine having a human experience…once we see this Universal truth, soul begins to be the driver of this human vehicle.  When the higher self takes the wheel over, the driver knows everything starts within…here it comes…as within, so without.  This driver knows she is only in control of her thoughts, her emotions, her actions and anyone else’s are theirs, not hers.  She knows that Heaven and Hell  are not destinations, but the reality we create with our thoughts.  She knows that good/bad are a matter of perspective…nothing is really one, or the other, unless you make it so by attaching emotions & thoughts to the action.  Sin is just straight bullshit, created to manipulate, to control the masses by programming fear and insecurity into all of us.  The human driven by soul, acting from the heart space knows that she has nothing to fear from God, because living from the heart, from the soul, leads to emotions, thoughts and actions that are based in morality and integrity (something we see very little of these days).  See when you love yourself, when you are aligned with the Divine above and within, you can’t not do what is right, you just can’t.  This driver knows this and knows NO ONE and NOTHING CAN SAVE HER, but HER.  Sure, the Divine is there to help, as are others, but ultimately this driver knows she has to do the work.  She also knows Jesus won’t save her ass, either.  For fuck sake’s , he was a man, a human with soul as the driver, who became an ascended master like many others.  An oracle, a messenger for God…that message was, and still is, very fucking simple…love…love thyself and love thy neighbor.  That message seems to have gotten lost in all the bullshit dogma of religion.  This higher self, soul driver doesn’t ask why things are happening to her, she knows that everything is happening FOR her…for her to learn, grow and evolve.

I have had both driving my human vehicle, in this lifetime and others.  As an Empath,  living from my heart space has always been easy, the rest, not so much.  This journey has taught me, we must heal all parts to become whole, to become authentic, to let soul take over as the driver.  We must be open to a new way of thinking, acting, of being.  For me, understanding exactly what God is and ditching the belief he was a someone, something outside of me was a huge breakthrough on my path to self-love.  Self and Spirituality go together, you can’t have one without the other. The Catholic God Selfish Mitch and I were conditioned to believe in was a vengeful, judgmental, dare I say…narcissistic God.  A God that would punish and take away.  A God that created Heaven and Hell and was the ultimate decider of where we would go after this life.  More bullshit, btw…energy never dies, it changes, transforms, but never dies.  This is not the God I know anymore.  Source, the Divine are what I choose to call it and it is nothing but unconditional love, acceptance, empathy, compassion and support.  The Divine is always guiding us to what we need, which is not always what we want, but it is given with the hope we will be grateful for the blessings and learn from the blessons (blessings + lessons. because the lessons hold the biggest blessings).  The non-physical light beings around us everyday, all day, want nothing but to help us live our most fulfilled, joyful, abundant lives.  This is how we are meant to live, but first we have to find that light inside of us…the light that connects us all.

Love and so much Light to you All

AK

P.S.  I’m never going to tell you what to believe in, the choice is yours and I respect and love you regardless.  I am always writing with the intention to inspire and inform others of how to live your most fulfilled life.

P.P.S.

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Smooth Move, Universe. I Hear You Loud and Clear -Mitch

An unexpected kickstart to Eddy’s Happiness Project

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This is Eddy. He had crawled up on the arm of the couch facing backwards and wasn’t sure how to get himself down.

As I wrote in my last blog, My American Bulldog, Eddy, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. He was only seven and a half, and this loss has been terrible on me, and on everyone else who loved him. I’ve spent a lot of time crying, which I think is really normal, but as I was going through photos of him (I’m so glad I took so many!) I started to think about what Eddy cared about. I mean, he was a dog. He wanted food, he wanted walks, and he wanted love. However, his favorite thing was when his family was together and we were all happy. He wasn’t smart, but this guy knew how to spread love. It was hard to be in a bad mood with him around because he was always such a joyful boy.

I decided that the best way for me to honor Eddy’s memory is to find joy and bring it to others. I plan on doing a lot of journaling and beginning each day with meditation while I walk in nature and writing down my gratitudes each day. I figured I’d start Monday, because I like to start things on Mondays, and my journals will arrive from Amazon on Monday as well.

For some reason, I woke up at 6 am feeling better than I have in weeks. Maybe feeling better than I have, physically, in months. I got up, stretched, puttered around the house until just before seven, then grabbed Thor and his leash and decided to start our walks today instead of Monday.

 

 

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Walk? Hell, yes! -Thor

As the little man and I cruised through the neighborhood, looking at the beauty of the Superstition Mountains, we were both deep in thought. Thor was thinking about how cool it was to be able to pee in 634 different places. I was thinking about how odd it felt to walk without Eddy, of course, but I was also feeling grateful for a beautiful, cool morning and that I had my Thor to love. I was thinking that today was as good of a day as any to start spreading happiness to myself and others.

I blog under the name Selfish Mitch, because being selfish has always been a quality I’m aware of, and it certainly hurts some relationships when I’m not living in self awareness and trying to be my best self. If I get stressed or angry, that’s the trait that comes through a lot. Still, when I was diagnosed with chronic illness, I realized it was kind of great that I was born with the innate ability to say “no” to other people and things in my life that don’t serve me. Saying no to others and saying yes to ourselves is actually a big problem for a lot of women, healthy and ill alike, and it’s why so many of us feel frazzled. Women often give, give, and give before we tend to ourselves, which leads to feeling tired, grumpy, unhappy, and unappreciated. It’s honestly one of the reasons AK and I started this blog–to share our journeys of self love and self care as we try to find balance with the world. Still, I’ve been sad and stressed and not feeling well for quite a while, and I realized that I’ve really just been focusing on me too much. Being a little selfish is good. Being super selfish isn’t.

Yes, Eddy’s Happiness Project is about bringing happiness to myself, but a big part of it is purposefully spreading joy to others. As Thor and I were walking around we were both happy. I haven’t felt well enough in the morning to walk him around the neighborhood, so he was thrilled to explore. I was feeling grateful for my body and mind feeling healthy, grateful for a beautiful day, and I started thinking of how I could give back this week. I didn’t have any brainstorms, but there I was, on an unscheduled walk, and all of a sudden a skinny little pup without a collar came up to me. He looked like a chihuahua mix, and he let me pick him up right away. I looked around for an owner, and didn’t see one anywhere. We were pretty close to home, so I picked the little dude up and carried him home. He instantly found Thor’s food and water and filled his belly. I let them play while I grabbed my phone and tried to find his owners. Sure enough, the night before, someone had posted a picture of him on nextdoor.com. They went out to dinner last night, and when they came home their front door, side gate, and garage were wide open, and their little Max was gone.

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The guys on the way back to reunite Max with his Mom

They’d been up until 3 am looking for him. They thought that either the person who broke into their home took him, or he’d run away scared. He’s 8 years old and they’ve only recently adopted him from a rescue group, and he doesn’t know his name yet. We also live in an area where coyotes are known to grab cats and small dogs, so they were beside himself.

It’s just nuts to me that I woke up feeling amazing and somehow decided to go for a walk, during which I was brainstorming ideas to spread happiness around, and I was out at just the right time to find Max. He was standing in the middle of one of the busiest streets in my neighborhood. I hear you, Universe. I hear you Eddy. I was propelled into the right place at the right time to make a couple weep with joy. How amazing is that?

One other thing: a couple of days I turned off my Facebook notifications on my phone. It’s a huge distraction getting alerts pinging on my phone all day long. Once I got home, showered, and opened my computer to handle incoming calls for my real estate team, I did check facebook quickly and a new friend, who happens to be a fellow Poshmark seller, posted that she gave away some furniture to a family that had lost everything and asked if anyone could help. Since I have so much stuff that I’m reselling (650+ active listings on Poshmark, probably 300 more items to list) I will usually help by donating clothes. The other seller and I got into a dialogue about her idea to do classes for low income women to teach them about reselling. That’s another project I could get behind. It could seriously make a huge difference in the lives of families struggling to get by, and it wouldn’t take much of my time.

It’s just amazing what happens when you send signs into the Universe and you have clear intentions. I feel like I manifested two different ways to spread happiness just by going out into nature and asking for what I want. I never feel more spiritually connected than when I’m out in nature, and today was a huge sign that I’m headed in the right direction. Right now, I am happy.

Thank you, Eddy. I promise I’ll honor you forever.

Your loving Mama,

-Selfish Mitch

Introducing “Eddy’s Happiness Project” with Selfish Mitch

You may have noticed that I haven’t been around much lately. My dog, my sweet, sweet bulldog, who was really my favorite person in the entire world, passed away suddenly when my son and I were out of town visiting family in Montana.

There was no warning. He was happy, jumping around, playing with his puppy brother all the time. He’d been swimming in the pool just days before he passed away. The night it happened, my husband called me and said be thought Eddy didn’t feel well. We faced timed and he looked mopey, but OK. He was always moody when his mom wasn’t home. I got to tell him I loved him and I’d be back in a few days.

Two hours later, my husband called to tell me that my best guy was gone. I’d say my heart was broken; is broken, but that doesn’t even begin to describe how deeply I’m feeling this pain and loss. This dog was more than my emotional support animal. He was the sweetest, silliest animal in the world. He came into our home as a 5 month old energetic American Bulldog puppy. When he wasn’t running, he was on my lap. He arrived shortly after I’d been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The doctors had told me that I had blood markers that indicated I had an autoimmune disorder, but I didn’t check enough boxes yet for a diagnosis.

Eddy was with me. He was there when I had unexplained high fevers and pain. He didn’t mind missing his walk when my joints were too swollen to grasp his leash. Every night, between 9-10 PM, if I was in the living room, he’d growl at me until i went to bed. He wanted to go, but he doesn’t like to sleep alone. He wasn’t a smart dog, but it didn’t matter. He knew love. He knew how to comfort. He made us all laugh more times than we could even count. Every day of the seven and a half years he had on this world was filled with joy.

The night after he died, I was still in Montana with my family. My sleep was restless, but as soon as I woke up I felt the strongest wave of peace roll over my spirit. My sweet baby boy came to me in my dream and spoke to me. He told me that he was sorry he had to leave me, that he didn’t want to, but that it was necessary for him to go now so he could return to me when I need him the most in the future. He’s been back a few more times, reminding me to try to find joy. I feel him with me so, so much.

 

The best thing I can do right now, I think, is to honor his memory by taking a few risks. I’m going to dive right back into something that’s been a true PASSION in my life. I’m pretty good at most stuff I decide I want to do, and I happen to love working in real estate, but being on stage is what makes me light up. It fills my heart. With my heart feeling so, so broken right now, maybe putting myself out there can mend a shard or two of my heart. Time will help, I’m sure. The feelings I have so often that he’s still right here with me helps too, but I know that I’ll miss him deeply every single day until he returns to me. Little Thor is doing a lot of work around here, spreading his love around. He misses his big lug of a brother too, and I think they may still be communicating too. Sometimes I’ll think of Eddy and when I look at Thor he has his tongue sticking out. There are all kinds of little things like that that make me know that the Vail between the worlds of the living and the dead isn’t as heavy and restrictive as most people think it is.

I’m incredibly grateful that AK and I started our dialogues that have lead us to where we are right now. If feel like I’m growing at a pretty astounding rate. As I dive into spirituality, my mind feels open. I the impulse to be kind to strangers a lot more. I am coming to be really tuned in to my empath abilities. I’m very grateful for that. The more I learn about being an empath, it just checks so many boxes. I’m using this ability to better help my real estate clients. I’m using it to be a better friend. A better wife, mother, and sister. There are no limits, as I’m a firm proponent of lifetime learning.

I think if I hadn’t been going down this spiritual path of self discovery, self love, and self care, I’d be a much bigger mess. I’m still feeling the loss. I’ll sometimes have a memory pop up out of nowhere and it feels like someone has punched me, HARD, in the gut. It makes it hard to breathe. I have techniques and breathing that can help me. I can get up and do some exercise to get endorphins flowing. If this had happened a year ago, I’m pretty sure I’d be looking for answers at the bottom of a bourbon bottle. If it took 3 weeks of constant drunkenness, then that’s what I would have done. That’s not who I am anymore. I’m making healthy choices, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I am going to take control of my life to find a way to build that happiness Eddy always wanted.

I’m proud to know that I’ll be starting Eddy’s Happiness Project. I’m going to spend a lot of time journaling. I’ll start each day by writing gratitudes. Then, I’ll make 3 bucket lists. I’ll have a short term bucket list, a long term bucket list, and an ongoing bucket list.

For example, my first item on my short term bucket list is auditioning for a couple plays with local theater companies. I think short term goals should be fairly easy enough to complete in 3-4 months.

My long term bucket list includes getting a speaking role on a TV show or movie. Even if I’m just there as an extra with a couple of lines, I’m into it. Most of these long term goals should be achievable in 1-2 years. I’ll put longer term goals too, like AK and I flying to Montana, renting a car, and hiking different trails all over the state for a month. I don’t know that we could make a month happen right now, but a few years down the road it should be easily doable if we are clear in our intent, ask the universe for what we want, and do the work it takes to get us there.

My ongoing bucket list will contain things like 5 workouts a week and eating on-plan 80% of the time. It will also show my dedication to my work commitments. That one is important, because I plan to buy myself gifts when I achieve milestones.

I’ll be sharing my results here quite frequently, so please follow along! If you’ve been looking to bring more happiness and joy into your life, this might be a great way to do it. All you need is journal, an open heart, and an open mind. Oh, and pens or pencils, I suppose.

Feel free to contact me at any time if I can be of any help to you!

If you’re trying to to bring yourself up from grief and/or depression, I want to help. Let’s be those rays of happy sunshine that breaks through the clouds of despair.

Wishing you love, light, and peace,

Selfish Mitch

Straighten Your Crown…You Are Divine

We all wear a crown, most of us aren’t aware of it.  Programming has us believing that God is something separate from us.  This distorted God of organized religion has us all fucked up, unable to see that we are all God, the embodiment of unconditional love and light in human form.  The Crown chakra is located at the top of the head, this purple chakra influences our spirituality, our connection to higher consciousness, inspiration and wisdom.  When blocked, we experience loneliness, depression, mental disorders, confusion, lack of purpose and/or sleep problems.  I have definitely experienced a blocked crown throughout my life and definitely through my spiritual awakening.

As a child, loneliness was common…I never felt like I fit in anywhere, not even with my family.  As I’ve gone through my awakening, I’ve come to realize that this is quite common with lightworkers (Twin Flames, Starseeds, Empaths, Earth Angels, etc.).  The times I felt the least alone were actually the times I was alone…weird, I know, but true. When alone, I could read,  listen to music, daydream and connect to my spirit guide and angels.  In this place, I was never alone…in crowds, or around people, was the opposite.  Still is…as an Introvert, I love my quiet, alone time…it is essential for me.  It is essential for all of us.  The loneliness of a spiritual awakening is for a purpose, to learn that you are never alone when connected to the Divine.

As of late, I have been a little cloudy on why I’ve gone through this awakening, what is my purpose now.  I knew at an early age I wanted to be a teacher and leaving teaching was one of the most confusing decisions.  I was guided to do so and felt at peace with the decision, but what the fuck was I going to do next?  I started this blog, guided to share my experience with you all, but wondered what else?  I know, and have always known, that I was destined for something big, but I had no clue what that big was…still a little unsure, but the unfolding of the path has been absolutely magical.  The massive shifts happening to all, have for me, brought more clarity to who I am at a soul level and why I am here.   I’ll blog on this very soon and possibly do a video on our YouTube channel.  Since the blog, I have started 2 YouTube channels with the hope, like the blog, of planting seeds of awareness and helping others through shifts in consciousness that we all are experiencing.  I have also started my own Tarot business with the intention of guiding other’s through their journey of self-transformation.  It’s busy, but I love it and time means nothing when I’m helping others with love and passion.

How do we open the Crown chakra and our connection to the Divine?  MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE…I cannot say it enough.  If there is one practice we all should do and teach our children it’s MEDITATE.  As I’ve said before, you are the only one who knows you best.  But, what you do you know?  The ego/3D you or the Divine/5D you?  Meditation is the best way to learn and know yourself at a soul level and I will blog on this soon, as well.    Meditating as little as 10 minutes a day can change your whole perspective on self and others, as well as it’s millions of other benefits.  Prayer is another way to connect, but not the fucked up praying of organized religion.  My mother to this day, tells me I need to get on my knees and pray…ummmm, hello, this is the girl that literally communicates with angels, pretty sure I’ve got my own way of praying.  That’s the thing about spirituality, meditation, prayer…there is no one way of, or right way,  doing it.  It’s all about YOU and what works best for YOU.  I meditate a lot more than 10 minutes a day, operating from a higher consciousness, I sometimes feel I am in a meditative state most of the time.  That’s just me, though…Selfish Mitch was very resistant to meditation until recently and I hope she’ll blog (hint, hint) about her experience and how she makes meditation work for her.

An open, balanced Crown chakra brings peace, unity consciousness, clarity of thought and purpose aligned to intuition and enlightenment.  Listen, this is not easy and we are programmed to be attached to the material world, but to reach a higher consciousness, we must detach from possessions and relationships, they do not define us at a soul level.  Spirituality is not about religion…it is about YOU and your relationship to self and Source (or God, if you prefer).  I tend to not use either label, but choose to call it the Divine, the Universe, spirit…you get to choose what resonates with you.  I read somewhere that religion is for people who fear hell, spirituality for those who have been through hell.  Connecting with the non-physical, through your Crown chakra, you learn there is nothing to fear, fear is an illusion, programmed into us to keep us ignorant to the truth…we are all Divine, we are all Source energy here to have a human experience.

I have to tell y’all, this has been the hardest chakra to write about…I though it would be simple, but it touches on so many sensitive subjects, like God, religion, human versus soul…and I’m struggling a bit with explaining it all…oh fucking well, all I can do is try.  If you have any questions, or need guidance, in starting a meditation practice(or anything else), please comment, e-mail, reach out in any way…I’m always here to help anyone in any way I can.  I hope you all have a magical day!!

Peace Love and Light Beautiful Souls

AK

Divine Bad Ass Goddess

P.S.

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