The Path to Happiness Isn’t Where I Expected It To Be -Mitch

 

Oh, hey there. It’s been a while. I’ve been out of sorts. I had a couple more medication changes that fucked me up quite a bit in the past several months, and I kind of hit a wall in my career, personal development, and my relationship, and I certainly didn’t give myself time to grieve the loss of my dog properly. I was exhausted, depressed, and totally unmotivated. I gave zero shits for way too long, and now I’m trying to find my path back to the person I want to be; the best version of myself. I’ve found, though, that I spent way too much time and energy trying to make myself want things that were no longer what was best for me. I was trying so hard to convince myself that my goals should be the same as they were in the past that I didn’t take time to evaluate if those were still things I wanted. I went down a rabbit hole only to finally realize that if I’d achieved those goals, I wouldn’t be happy anyway. I needed to acknowledge that goals change as we do, because it’s tough to let go of things, and that’s totally OK.

It’s hard for me to blog here when I’m not feeling myself, honestly. Our mission is to help women live their best lives, and I was certainly not living mine. Nowhere close. I guess I was practicing self care, if self care looks like eating cookie dough out of a tub. (I mean, I think it CAN look like that, once in a great while, but let’s be honest. Doing it fairly regularly isn’t self care. It’s self harm.) Who the hell was I to help guide anyone else? I was a hot mess. What I guess I really lost sight of, though, is that I’m a woman, and if we’re trying to help women live their best lives, why was I uncomfortable starting with myself? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same things I am, or who could learn from my journey.

Part of it is that it’s really hard to be totally raw and honest online. The Pinterest/Instagram/Blogosphere corner of the internet is full of people with photoshopped and glossed over lives. I don’t blame anyone for wanting to put their best foot forward, especially in a cruel world full of strangers who sometimes want to make themselves feel better by taking other people down. I find that women, especially, fall into this pattern of behavior. When you’re miserable and things aren’t going your way, it’s a hell of a lot easier to lash out and judge other people than to turn the mirror on ourselves. I know I’ve been guilty of that toxic practice. The nickname Mitch the Bitch didn’t come from thin air. I wear the label “Bitch” proudly when I use my skills to stand up for myself and for people and ideals I love. I’m not so proud if I use it to personally attack people. It doesn’t make me better, it doesn’t make them better, and it doesn’t make the world a better place.

It’s equally as bad when I use my elevated skills of verbal decimation on myself, whether I say it out loud, or I say it inside my head. I’m always up for a good self deprecating joke, honestly, and that will probably never change, but I need to be a lot kinder to myself when I stumble. I need to be a lot more honest with myself, as well. A character trait I’m not terribly fond of is my all or nothing, zero to sixty in ten seconds personality. It’s great to ramp myself up and throw myself into something I care about or to reach towards a goal, but it’s a train wreck when I don’t allow myself room for moderation or failure.

Be real; who else does this? We say, “I stayed on my diet for three days then I ate some fries, so I’ll start again Monday,” or, “I really wanted to start blogging again, and I wrote a couple I’m pretty happy with, but then I ran out of time and motivation and now I look stupid because who the hell wants to follow me?”

The answer to failure shouldn’t be, “Fuck it!” if it’s something you really want. If it’s something that you think will make you really happy, start again today. Commit again right now, and if you stumble, start again right away. Don’t give up, but forgive yourself if you don’t succeed and follow the path that you thought would lead you to your goal. My goal is pretty simple. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be the best version of myself and I want to help other women do the same. For me, that’s going to require nothing but pure honesty, self love and acceptance, and accountability. I’m going to be honest with myself and right here on this blog. I’m going to love myself to identify self destructive behavior, take some time to analyze why I did it, and find a better way to reach my goals when I start again. I’ve found that what we sometimes think will make us happy isn’t really what we originally think it is. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the minutia of what we are trying to do that we don’t take time along the way to reevaluate and make sure that the place we’re going is still the destination we want to reach.

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I can’t say “here I go again” without a Whitesnake reference. My hair band loving heart won’t let me do it.

So here I go again, but not on my own. I have AK and my family, and other amazing, strong friends and mentors to love me and guide me, and maybe I have you. You have me if you need me. Reach out. I don’t care who you are, or where you are in your process. You don’t have to be spiritually awakened, because I know I’m not there yet. You don’t have to know exactly what you want or how the hell to get there, but if you’re reaching for something and you’re not content, hit me up. I’m actually a lot better at advice for other people than I am for myself. Even if I can’t help, I will almost always say something ridiculous and make you laugh and see things from a different perspective.

When we started this blog, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do here, of what my role should be, and really, what I thought I wanted and what I thought would make me happy. Some of that is still right, and some of that has changed, but I promise, it’s OK to figure it out as you go along. Don’t stay committed to things that don’t serve you. Seriously, knock it off. If you made a goal to run a marathon but you keep injuring yourself, that might not be the right goal for you. There are other ways to get fit and strong. I’m not saying to divorce your husband or quit your job right now, especially if you love them and see a way forward and a future with them that could be fulfilling. I am saying that the way forward might look different than you thought it would, and you need to be open to that.

I have a lot more to say. I want to talk about spirituality and the divine feminine, and  I started this blog to talk about gratitude. I’m going to write about both soon, but this is what came out right now and I’m not second guessing it. This needed to come out for a reason, so here it is. You’ll see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the utterly ridiculous here, so strap in for the ride.

Love, light, forgiveness, and an appropriate amount of cookie dough,

-Selfish Mitch

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July 2018 Birchbox vs July 2018 Ipsy- A Selfish Mitch Review

I was going to do these separately, but they both came when I was out of town for a few days, so I thought it would be great to open them at the same time and see what we’re working with. Both boxes are $10 a month with free shipping, and it’s a fun, inexpensive way to spoil myself and try things I’d probably never pick up in the store.

Which box did you prefer? What piece did my puppy steal?

I also talk about self care and why it’s so vitally important. It’s important for everyone, but the way AK feeds her soul is very different from the way I feed mine, and my neighbors and other girlfriends do something completely different. We’re here to give you ideas, but you don’t have to do what we do. Find what works for your life; find what sets fire to your soul, and do that.

 

With peace, light, and one less lip liner,

Selfish Mitch

Mitch Unboxes Her Summer 18 Fab Fit Fun Box. Is It The Best FFF Yet?

Spoiler alert: I think so. I still have my ipsy to unbox, but I’m trying to train myself to be a little more patient. Waiting for things falls under that category, yeah?

Tell us what you think in the comments. What’s the best part of this box? Also, I don’t have a discount code here because apparently 6 youtube views don’t make you an “influencer” (!!I’m Shocked!!)  but if you google you can find one. I think this one is worth it.

 

Peace, love, and primer. All the primer.

-Selfish Mitch

Birchbox X Vogue X Selfish Mitch

There’s really not much I enjoy more than a super thoughtful gift from me to me. That’s why I decided I should try out Birchbox. My add-on box with a collaboration between Birchbox and Vogue arrived before the regular birchbox, so we’re going to check that out here. I also ordered a few more little treats that came in this package, including an eyeshadow palette that I’m fairly certain is a HUGE mistake. Check it out below and let me know what you think.

My Winter Skin Is Thirstier Than a Former Disney Starlet on Instagram (A Story About Kitnapping)

If you know me, or if you have read this blog at all, you know that I’m pretty invested in self care. Some of it is because I have a chronic illness and run a few businesses, including ohmmygodess.com, and I have to make choices every damn day. A lot of times I don’t like those choices; for example, I often have time to reach out to all of my real estate leads and clients OR time for a long phone call with a BFF. I have time to get my ass to bed on time or blog. I have time to spend in my photo studio getting clothes ready for sale OR time with my husband. It’s not fun having to choose all the time.

I’ve been totally absent from this blog for what, a month now? I came down with three different strains of this year’s flu and a case of bronchitis, and I had to choose only the most urgent things I could do every day. Had I been inspired I’d have probably blogged instead of another task, but I was cranky and tired and overextended and didn’t have love to share with you all. I started feeling better Sunday of last week, and started planning a normal adult personal professional life, and then…my neurologist’s office called and said that my insurance company had approved a minor back surgery I’ve needed for about six months, but they gave a 10 day window and Wednesday (less than 48 hours) was the only time that the doc and the surgical center had available, so they needed me there or it might never happen. Fuck the American medical system, but we work with what we have. Let me arrange my life and figure out how I’m going to pay my $3900 copay and deductible in two days. Seems reasonable. Again, fuck all of them.

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I *might* have also ordered three identical unicorn onesies on the way home from back surgery. But I got a deal, so whatevs.

So, surgery Wednesday afternoon, and Wednesday night someone invited me to a Perfectly Posh party. I’ve heard of this MLM company and their pampering products from a few friends who swear by them, so I’d wanted to try it for a while. I’m also a cheap bitch, and that leads us to one of my favorite hobbies: Kitnapping. Kitnapping is the term for signing up as a sales rep for a multi level marketing company with absolutely no intention of being a “BOSS BABE {INSERT 47 EMOJIS HERE}.” I don’t hate MLM, and in fact, I feel compelled to work Beachbody as a business since I used their workouts, meal plans, Shakeology, and challenge groups to lose 70 lbs. It’s not my main job,  but you can’t lose 70 lbs and get hundreds of selfie likes and NOT want to help other people do the same. With anything else, though, no. I’m here to get the starter kit for free, buy a few more things for myself at a discount, and then quit. Most of them can be viable businesses if you choose to work them like businesses, but I’m a great Realtor and passionate about that, first and foremost, so it won’t work for me. I’m not trying to discourage you, but please do your research. f you want to know why MLM’s have a 90+% failure rate, look at bitches like me. We sign up to get the goods, then GTFO. http://www.scarymommy.com/mlm-failure-rate-99-percent-lularoe/

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Seems a little early to talk about love, since we just met, but OK.

Anyway, as the title of this post indicates, I have the WORST dry skin in the winter. Even in Arizona, when January 21 found me cursing myself for not getting the motor to operate the top of my convertible fixed earlier because it was 85 degrees, I had alligator skin. So, induced by still working the surgical drugs out of my system and the nurses commenting, “You poor thing” when faced with my scaly legs, I decided to jump on the Perfectly Posh kitnapping wagon.

So, here’s what you get. A big box that says, “I’m part of the company I love!” (That’s a little much, PP People, since the folks who order your starter kit likely don’t know much about your business, even if they love your products.) It has a bunch of catalogs and I’m assuming other business shit I will never look at. There’s only one bag that says, “Pampering for Me,” but hi, have we met? This shit is ALL for me. There’s not a way that a MLM paying 20% commission for affordable skin care products is going to overtake my income from selling houses. Still, I’ve heard amazing things about this so let’s get it on.

It was 4 pm on a Sunday when I opened this, so conveniently, I needed a shower. I chose these two things since they looked like they should go in the shower.

So, I grabbed the “Show and Gel” and was VERY disappointed. I was confused about the hype on this crap because here is a body wash gel with zero foaming action. Well, it turns out you should read the back of this because it’s like lotion for the alligator people like me, not a body wash. My bad; so I had to use the soap that was already in my shower. I also used the BFF exfoliating facial gel, which made me feel fruity clean on my face, which is a thing I like. When my dumb ass got out of the shower, I used the Show and Gel like you’re supposed to, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t make my disgusting legs look human again, so that was a win.

Since that worked, I decided to try a mask. I chose the pineapple one that is sampled, and I smelled like a fucking pineapple and I got puppy kisses as a result, so that’s a win.

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Gratuitous dog picture, but the little one did keep trying to lick my face with the Pineapple mask. If you don’t think they’re cute you’re a monster.

That shit did NOT want to wash off, so I didn’t like that part. Rinse, rinse rinse, rinse, and still. Pineapple face. If you’re following us on Instagram, you can see my 42 year old clean face with a pineapple mask in our story. (If you’re not following our Instagram, what are you even doing with your life?) When I finally got rid of the pineapple, I used the Gel Yes! because it’s the only facial moisturizer sampled in that big ass kit, which I thought was strange, since they include approximately 623 samples of hand cream . Still, I used the goods and my face still feels as soft as a 33 year old’s. (Estimated age, I do not have a 33 year old face to feel at the moment, and even if I did, that would be an awkward conversation).

I finished off with the Sassyooma “Big FAT Yummy Hand Cream,” which has a great orange-y citrus smell and actually took me closer to human and further away from reptile, which is obviously a good thing. It came in a little sample packet that said to use a pea sized amount on your hands, but I used all of it and used it up my arms, on my neck, and a little on my face, and it’s my favorite so far. (Does anyone actually use a portion of a free sample and roll the dice that the other part of it will be good when you come back to it?) I feel like if I kept using it, I’d become fully human in a week or so. Of course, because my brain is THE WORST and crazy inconvenient, I react to the word “yummy” like most people react to the word “moist” so of course I can’t just fucking enjoy things. WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE NICE THINGS?

Anyhow, what I’ve tried so far seems pretty legit, as long as you have the reading skills of a third grader and employ them before you squeeze out 1/6th of a bottle of lotion onto your shower poofy thing expecting it to foam up like body wash.

Want to try out some of this stuff and support this blog at the same time? Order from Selfish Mitch Perfectly Posh If you have questions, I’ll be happy to answer if I know anything. At this point, based on what I’ve tried and how much stuff is in the starter kit, I would recommend kitnapping Perfectly Posh for $99 and some shipping. I’m not sure how I feel about it as a gung-ho business opportunity. Yes, the kit is $99, so that’s a hell of a deal for over $300 in retail products. I know from social media and my own research that the products are well received and wanted, but if you’re looking for a MLM to really sink your teeth into and grow a business, I can’t say I’d recommend a company that overuses the word yummy and pays out 20% for products that are pretty affordable. I do know people personally who are working this as a business and doing well, so I could put you in contact with them if you’re interested in the opportunity.

Thanks to Angie Welker for letting me kitnap on her downline. I think it’s totally ethical to buy a starter kit from any MLM for your personal use, with no intention to work it as a business besides passively sharing your link, with one caveat. If you’re going to be selfish with it and keep it all, just be honest with the person you’re signing up under. Angie was the rep running the Perfectly Posh Party and I signed up “under” her in the business. I was straight with her that I wanted the kit for myself and would provide an honest review, but that she didn’t need to follow up me with me as a downline business person because I’m not going to have parties in person or on Facebook. Don’t be a dick. Be honest with everyone involved if you’re kitnapping.

-With love and citrus smelling soft skin,

Selfish Mitch