I haven’t blogged in forever, even though I have a bunch of partially formed posts in my mind. I’ve had some shit I’ve been wading through, but I’ve righted my ship and am striving to move past it.
As you may or may not know, I’m a real estate agent. In this day and age, social media is really important for any self employed person who needs to be hired several times a year by several different people. I keep most of my facebook public for that reason. I make it a point to be authentically myself on social media, but I do strive to refrain from discussing topics like religion and politics. Why? Nobody wins.
I am a liberal living in a very red area of a red state. I did discuss politics during the 2016 election. I mean, it was a shitshow. A legitimate, no holds barred, embarrassment to our country. I personally believe Donald Trump is the human embodiment of the worst parts of America, and somehow he ended up in charge.Still, I’m not a huge Hillary fan, for reasons I don’t have time to get into here. I voted for her, but I’m a Bernie Sanders kind of gal.
What I learned from discussing politics on Facebook is that you either end up in an echo chamber or you end up fighting with people who have different beliefs and values than you do. It’s frustrating. It ended up sucking up a lot of my time and adding a lot of negative energy into my life, so I just decided to stop engaging with people; especially the people who will never change their minds. I still read people’s posts because as a human and a businessperson, I try to understand and find common ground with everyone. I actually understand why some of my friends voted for Mango Musselini. I don’t like it, and I don’t agree, but I understand.
Anyhow, as I mentioned, it’s important for me to make business connections on social media. I’m married and am not interested in the least in a physical or emotional affair with anyone, so I try to screen the dudes who request me. I try to only accept friend requests from people with whom I have mutual friends. I generally don’t accept requests from men who are posing with their shirts off, or men I wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley. I don’t think this guy was shirtless when he friended me, but he might have slipped through. I also check their friends list, and if a large number of their “friends” look like catfish bikini girls, I decline too. Still, creeps slip in. Let’s examine this exchange with a new facebook “friend” here.
I just want to understand what this guy’s goal is here. Like, when the losers come out and declare themselves to be creepy internet pervs, I know what they want. They’re not gonna get it, from me, certainly, and probably not from anyone else, but I don’t get what this guy even wants.
So we start out fine. Work talk, networking, blah, blah, blah. A bit of a yellow flag with the “nice picture” comment, but OK.
Well isn’t this guy living the Bro dream. He wants to pump iron on the beach on youtube next to babes in bikinis. I gave him a little bit of room since I’m interested in fitness too, but I do want to know who he thinks is going to watch this channel. Also, where is he going to get these women? Will he provide said colorful, skimpy bikinis? I feel like it might be tough to just happen upon a sandy beach with weights to lift that also provides hot mamas in bikinis. Bright, barely-there bikinis, at that. Also? Why does Roland think I would give a single, tiny kernel of rat shit about any of that? FFS, man.
On we go. Ya ready?
Well, that sure took a clear turn, didn’t it? Is this honestly the way homeboy is expecting to make a friend or a business connection? I’m mystified at this response. It’s super douchy. I do not like abortion, and I’m still feminist AF. I hate abortion so much that I’ve never had one, and I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would. However, I’ve luckily never been in the situation where I’ve had to make that choice. I think it’s pretty easy to stand on your moral high horse when you’re not in that situation. I have friends who I love very much who have made that decision. I don’t love them any less and I supported them through that choice.
Life isn’t perfect. We live in a county where large groups of people spend a fortune trying to make public policy to ensure that every baby that is concieved is born, but they stop caring at the moment that the kid takes its first breath. Single mom can’t afford health insurance? She shouldn’t have had a baby. Married Mom and Dad both need to work at least 40 hours a week at minimum wage to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads but still can’t afford day care? Too bad. They should have used protection. If they can’t afford their own damn health insurance and birth control they should just abstain or use the rhythm method, because not one damn dime of MY TAX DOLLARS is going to pay for anyone’s birth control. Kid needs a heart transplant or treatment for childhood cancer? Kid shouldn’t have chosen to be born to a poor family. Tough break.
So, back to my new friend here. He started out being glad to be my facebook friend, but went from happy and talking about bikini babes (that be clearly wants to ogle and probably bang when he’s done lifting weights. The irony is that I’m pretty sure if they have sex with him, it’s not going to be a committed relationship, but it’s fine somehow. Somehow, folks like this appreciate sexually liberated women when they’re the recipient of the bootay, but these girls are whores if they sleep with any other man. They will be told that they shouldn’t spread their legs unless they’re prepared to face the consequences of an STD or baby with anyone else, and if the father chooses not to be involved or pay child support, that’s what they get for sleeping around. Of course, they say the same thing if the woman was in a committed relationship and the man removed himself from the situation.
Also? Let’s be really fucking clear on one thing. If you’re speaking with a woman who defines herself as a feminist, you’re never, ever going to change her mind if you lead with “feminazi”. At this point, it’s clear that you’re just a mysoginist asshole, and all converstation will end. If you don’t support what you believe to be the “feminist agenda” and you’re anti-abortion, cool. I don’t agree with you, but I understand how some people feel that way. I truly do. I was raised Catholic, but luckily my very Catholic mother wanted her daughters to be able to support themselves and be free thinkers, and you bet your ass she raised her only son to respect women as well.
The words you put out on the internet are there forever. Did this guy write something so horribly offensive that he should be burned on the stake? Should this conversation have repercussions on his career? I don’t think so, but they could, hypothetically, cost him customers if he’s an entepreneur. As a Realtor who writes on this blog, I understand what walking that line is like. Hell, I’ve said and written things that are potentially more offensive and likely to cause me to lose business than this man did in his conversation with me. I want to be clear that I’m not condemning him, but I really want to make it clear that this isn’t the way to approach women if you’re trying to build a busines or professional relationship, so just don’t do it.