I have always known I was here to be a teacher. Growing up in the 80’s, in a strict Catholic family, lead me to one career choice…teaching. I come from a family of teachers (on both sides): it is a noble profession. Other avenues of teaching were never encouraged, nor discussed. I was conditioned to believe that if I went to college, got my degree & became a teacher, I would live ” The American Dream”. What a crock of shit that turned out to be.
This will not be a long drawn out story of my 15 years in the 5th largest school district, teaching at-risk kids. The stories I could tell…maybe I’ll write a book someday. I can tell you that I loved EVERY. FUCKING. MINUTE. with my kids. They would tell you I was an awesome teacher, they are kind & love unconditionally. My gift, as a teacher, was the connections, the relationships I built with each & every student that sat in my classroom. It is the Empath in me. Kids see through the bullshit, they feel who someone truly is. They could feel the unconditional love, the empathy, understanding and compassion I felt for them. In my room, my kids were not letters, not test scores…they were the beautiful, imperfect beings that they are(as I write my heart chakra is lit up like a Christmas tree). Once my kid, always my kid.
Anyways, there were many things, of course, that I did not like & did not understand…what relevance they had to teaching kids. But, like all good slaves, I did what I was told, telling myself it was for the kids. I gave and I gave, I poured my heart & soul into being the best teacher I could be (the old me was a bit of a perfectionist). At my last school, I became a leader in the building, chairing numerous committees, implementing & running professional development for teachers, you name it, I did it…the only thing I got paid for was tutoring, which I did on top of the aforementioned jobs. I went into teaching for kids & the belief that I would have “The American Dream”. For 15 years I was there for the kids, all the while, taking time away from my own children, friends & family, and struggling to pay the bills. This was not the dream I was sold.
Last school year was a tough one for me. I was teaching and going through deep personal shit at the same time. When I came back from break in January, I was feeling better, hopeful, starting to heal. By April, the awakening had begun. I had been guided to the words Twin Flame and things about myself and personal relationships suddenly came to light. I was excited and happy…for the first time in years I felt free, not walking on eggshells. But, things started to shift at work. We tested my 5th graders for 6 weeks straight, I’m not even shitting you…6 fucking weeks my babies had to sit in a lab, day after day taking a bullshit test. I lost it one day, I went home and cried like I hadn’t in years. Crying for them, crying for me, crying for the whole fucked up system. I didn’t know what to do. Then the Universe stepped in, there was a problem renewing my license, I wouldn’t be able to do it fast enough & the district was going to fire me…how’s that for appreciation of 15 years of service…so I gave them the big fuck you & resigned. The thing about it, a year before and I would have straight up had a meltdown, total anxiety attack. But this year, I walked away with a smile on my face, knowing in my heart I was doing the right thing. However, I had not put total faith in myself & the universe…I took a job at a charter school within 4 days.
I made a commitment this summer to focus on myself, use the break to really do some soul work. In the Spring, I had started doing small, daily practices & they were instrumental in allowing the shifts for awakening to happen. At end of June, I began meditating and shortly after added yoga to my daily practices. I will get into how I made them daily practices in upcoming posts. These 2 changes to my daily life, changed it in ways I never thought possible. My spiritual awakening began accelerating at rates that were quite difficult for me to handle. As I opened to all that was possible, my psychic abilities (we all have them) & the way I feel things as an Empath were at an all time high. They still are, but I’m learning how they work, how I work. I began seeing through the illusions, the outdated systems that no longer serve us.
So, with all this going on I start teaching a new grade, at a new school, in a new, not better system… talk about breaking out of comfort zones…I couldn’t handle it. I absolutely hated being in that school. I coudln’t sleep. I was crying every morning at the thought of having to go there to teach. In this new situation was the sudden awakening to how outdated our education systems are (along with all of our other government systems). The realization that it does nothing in the best interest of kids , nor teachers…the 2 most important beings in a school. I will rant about the education system another day, when I’m in my spiritual anarchist mood. The hardest realization was that I was a part of it. I was a hypocrite, a slave to an outdated system, standing there teaching kids shit I know has no bearing on them being successful and I was tired of the bullshit…tired of being asked to be a robot, when I am a goddamn fucking unicorn! So, I resigned, with no plan other than to follow my heart & divine guidance to teach in a different way, use my gifts to help others heal.
One giant leap of faith taken. I am so grateful you are on this journey with me.
Peace, Love & Light Beautiful Souls
One Brave Bitch
P.S. This is your reminder that YOU are a fucking goddess!! Be brave, shine YOUR light, stand in YOUR power, my divine sisters.